Sunday, August 01, 2004

Sipping the Kool-Aid

"America is just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable." HST

The puppeteer glanced down at the paperwork with confident disdain. The dossier isn't pretty, but where there isn't a shred of truth, there's always atrocity. Maybe Condi and Rummy can come out of hiding now. Down at the ranch the legions of doom are playing with fire - keep the cigarette boat warm for that quick jump to Guantanamo Bay. We could use a coupla' certified terrorists for the convention.

The giant suck winds are blowing for the message designer. Bobo and Repo know it. Where o' where have the good Donald Segretti's gone? Even Buchanan wants to throw Bobo under the bus, courtesy of the puppeteer's misdirection on things ranging from Saxby and Saddam to Jeb and the recount. German opposition figures in the mid-1930s could have stopped the rise if only they had been more united in a common front.

The Puppeteer's Dossier:
Major Conflict Avoided - Vietnam
Official Position - Went to many schools without earning a degree
Turn-Ons - McCain was a stoolie for his captors in the Hanoi Hilton; McCain fathered a black daughter out of wedlock (she's an adopted Bangladeshi daughter, but still brown); Cindy McCain's drug "abuse"; and McCain's "homosexuality"; the Harkin campaign had employed a spy within the Ganske campaign; Iraq and Bin Laden were confederates in 9/11; Max Cleland votes for Hussein and Bin Laden; Mission Accomplished; doesn't Obama rhyme with Osama?
Turn-Offs - Segretti being sentenced to six months in federal prison for distributing illegal campaign material.
Prospects - Maybe five years for FEC violations.

A turd blossom is still a turd. At least that's what White House's sub-bunker focus group is telling them. Maybe if we use some bathroom humor about Teresa, he considers. You think that would stike a chord with mainstream America? Shit, if they hit us with Ken Lay we can always go with the Edwards-ambulance chaser thing. He's probably a crypto-Islamist anyways. So is that Ron Reagan kid who's latched onto the Kerry feeding frenzy. I wonder what Jessica Lynch is doing in a couple of weeks - she's probably gotten over the Fort Bliss photos by now. Is keeping someone awake until he drops into an uncontrollable hallucinogenic rage inhumane treatment or simply "sleep management"?

If you want change, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you want things to stay the same, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you want God to drop candy corn and gumdrops from the sky, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you think Osama's a bad guy, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you shop at a grocery store, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you pay rent or a mortgage, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you watch television, VOTE FOR BOBO!
If you think Homeland Security is cool, VOTE FOR BOBO!

There's the new message. These mylar liberals are really starting to annoy me.

Stench is on the way.


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