My Baloney Has a First Name ...

J ... I ... H ... A ... D

Dear Reverend Fallwell,

While I know it's been great watching those leftie-commie infiltrators go down in eternal damnation this weekend, it's also wonderful to know that the Liberty University Foundation Annuity is paying rates up to 11.3%! Praise be to God, because it ain't what you take with you, but what you give back to the flock.

Tuesday’s re-election of President George W. Bush and the election of a number of new conservative lawmakers across the nation astonished liberal newsmen, pundits and handlers who, hours earlier, had believed allegedly rigged exit polls and were confidently whispering that a new mandate was going to sweep the nation.

So what happened? After more than 25 years since I formed the Moral Majority and began mobilizing evangelicals to participate in the political process, I actually realized the fruit of my labors nationwide as Macel and I watched the election returns into the early hours of Wednesday. I could not hold back the tears of joy. Hour by hour, we observed a "slam dunk" as the Church of Jesus Christ made the difference in initiating the return of this nation to moral sanity and the Judeo-Christian ethic.

The so-called political experts had forgotten to count a significant voting bloc, namely the millions of evangelical voters who went to the polls in droves to “vote Christian.” Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Tom Brokaw and Chris Matthews started Tuesday night with the firm belief they were presiding over the demise of social conservatism in America.

I know it's great to set back now and enjoy the trappings of success, especially speaking truth to Wolf Blitzer about those brain-damaged terrorists: "Let's go over there to the Middle East, even if it takes over 10 years, and blow up those barbarians in the name of the Lord."

That looks awfully close to implying we should unleash God's wrath on all Muslims. Crusade anyone? I know there are tons of Christian Soldiers looking to get even with those heathen bastards, just as you are. Think of the movie 28 days later -- the Islamic cult and liberals share a mental virus and those infected are bloodthirsty animals that must be shot up to protect society. No amount of politicial correctness will ever change that and they are using the uncleansed to get the blade ever closer to our very throats. All good Christians must wake up and smell the blood. It's on every continent, in every country - even here. Thank God Our Preznut is steadfast in his will for this holy crusade, and he's ignoring those pacifist pleas from those weaker Christian churches who pray to the non-Mel Gibson rendition of Jesus.

Dare we agree that Christ was no Frenchman? And keep pushing hard against those commie gaylords who want to corrupt our military and our schools.

Your friends in a vengeful Christ,
Team Gonzography