Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Democalypse Now and Agents of Doom

I know my own nation best. That's why I despise it the most. And know and love my own people, too, the swine. I'm a patriot. A dangerous man.
- Edward Abbey

The world is flipping onto its side out here in the West. Against the backdrop of blazing hot questions and blood-red skies the talking heads are finishing with the elegant dissection of Agent Kerik and the hideous aftermath now known as the Democratic Party. Even Brother Wolcott knows "the Democrats are frozen at the steering wheel," sucking the tailpipe of the 18-wheeler that is victorious GOP think-tank, post-election spin - the likes of which would have made a fascist like John Mitchell dance in his grave and gave his wife Martha good enough reason to give up the sauce, had she made it past liver spots and cirrhosis.

But I fear no evil, for the Lord is swimming with the sharks. Yo, though I walk in the shadow of death - or something akin to Redrum Rumsfeld's next briefing from the Pentagon, which many have begun to sense is purgatory for the National Guard - I feel no evil, for the Lord is swimming right through me ...

Lord Jesus, hallelujah. Redrum remains our wild card now that Kerik was tossed out the door like yesterday's dishwater ... or maybe not. Perhaps Alberto Gonzales is the next savior. Who knows? Gonzales is the new lightning rod for the anti-Dubya crowd, but he's as dumb as a bag of rocks. He is something like a college roommate addicted to sex - keeping you awake at night for no other reason than pure voyeurism - just another atavistic creation as Attorney General of the Red States, a vindictive dimwit with an IQ of 72, with a cognizance somewhere between borderline idiot and brain-dead cyclops.

Whereas media coverage of previous administrations focused on one or two of the preznut's indiscretions - Watergate and Monicagate, to name two - Dubya's skeptics have organized their approach into bizarre, little themes that seek to represent the tone of the adminstration; among the most richest veins to examine has been its reliance on secrecy and loyalty. The nomination of longtime Dubya associate and White House legal counsel, Alberto Gonzales, a key designer of the preznut's vacant approach to the world over the last four years, suggests that the next four years will represent a move towards an even more extended sense of opaque wonder - like a heavy green cloud oozing above Pennsylvania Avenue, while the nominations keep getting meaner and dumber, leaving the folks-at-home to tolerate more and more of the gutter irregularities witnessed during the November election.

Gonzales' locking down of information - more or less on par with outgoing Pastor General John Ashcroft's - has been well-documented. A recent Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press report claims he's demonstrated "a penchant for strictly regulating access to government and executive-branch information." Meanwhile, the Project on Government Oversight has noted that Gonzales "played a leading role in attempting to chill whistleblowers who contact Congress with information about corporate fraud and abuse." The patterns go back years: The Houston Chronicle reported that Gonzales was crucial in getting then-Governor Bush excused from jury duty in 1996 - a strategy that allowed the governor to avoid revealing his 1976 drunken driving arrest.

So believe me when I tell you this ... The anal-compulsive freakazoid that is Alberto Gonzales is already known as the weirdest act in DC. I remember Ed Meese in his glorious prime and Little Il Duce Gonzales is going to make Deranged Ed - of the infamous Meese Report on Pornography during the salad days of the Reagan Administration - seem as affable and homespun as Wilfred Brimley with a bowl of Grapenuts. Meese may have been a treacherous slug - a low form of existence that sucked freedom into a cave where it was summarily beaten down and turned into a short stash of abject prostitution - but Gonzales is worse. He is beyond scum or pestilence. He is a Patriot Act plague that festers through the skin until the flesh transforms into chowder.

What Gonzales advocates - and continues to brandish like an instrument of death - is the malevolent and pervasive celebration of Mob-style omerta within the White House. There are rarely direct consequences for crossing the bridge on the administration, so to speak, but there now exists a trickle-down effect amongst its power players - leading to covert energy task force meetings, erosion of the Freedom of Information Act, expanding presidential authority to classify government documents. In the end, if Little Il Duce has his way, Americans will be kept in the dark about whatever their elected officials do in their good name, and also downstream how they ever got elected to begin with.

But that doesn't mean that questions aren't already hovering above Dubya's Attorney General nominee. Michael Isikoff of Newsweek offered on Hardball this week, ”It‘s raising some serious questions about the White House vetting operation, overseen by the White House Counsel‘s office, headed by Alberto Gonzales.  I think there‘s a lot of questions to be raised there.  One thing that was clear from the stories over the last week is, there was just a wealth of allegations that swirled around Kerik that were uncovered by reporters since he - immediately after he was nominated, yet somehow a lot of these were just simply not addressed in the vetting process.  So you‘ve got to wonder, where were the vetters?  How tough were the questions asked of Kerik?"

That is the nature of big-money, no-holds barred politics today. Many hear the voice in the distance calling them, but only a few survive the supreme moment of putting their nuts on the line - which appears to be surrounding a few of the new faces in the administration, and our own retarded child preznut these days ... and the witching hour continues, same as it ever was. Degenerate thieves always have ruled the planet with an iron fist and a purpose for knowing. We are just rodents in a Skinner Box searching for cheese.

Checking out of the human race.
Team Gonzography


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